The Last Guardian: review

Title: The Last Guardian (Artemis Fowl #8)

Author: Eoin Colfer

Genres: middle-grade/YA criminal mastermind genius, fairies

Source: Bought

Rating: 5 stars!

Summary: Seemingly nothing in this world daunts the young criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl. In the fairy world, however, there is a small thing that has gotten under his skin on more than one occasion: Opal Koboi. In The Last Guardian, the evil pixie is wreaking havoc yet again. This time his arch rival has somehow reanimated dead fairy warriors who were buried in the grounds of Fowl Manor. Their spirits have possessed Artemis’s little brothers, making his siblings even more annoying than usual. The warriors don’t seem to realize that the battle they were fighting when they died—a battle against Artemis—is long over. Artemis has until sunrise to get the spirits to vacate his brothers and go back into the earth where they belong. Can he count on a certain LEPrecon fairy to join him in what could well be his last stand?

New York Times best-selling author and comic genius Eoin Colfer will leave Artemis Fowl fans gasping up to the very end of this thrilling finale to the blockbuster series.

I grew up with this series as the books came out. I love them so much. They’re so funny and smart and magical, and I don’t even mind the boy POV, which normally bugs the heck out of me. So, I was so sad when I saw the word LAST in the title, when it was released a while back. It took me two days to read because I didn’t want to end, but I could have read it in one sitting.

The Artemis Fowl books can capture the interest of a wide-age-ranged audience. I started reading them when I was about nine or ten, (my brother when he was younger) and now I just finished the last one as my 18th birthday approaches. The way they are written, are kind of like Disney movies. And listen because that sounds weird at first. They remind me of Disney movies because little kids can enjoy them and get a lot out the reading, but there are also these hidden deeper meanings for older YA readers. The older I got and understood, the more strange little things stood out. Like a character named Kolin Oskopy, and even bigger worldly problems like our ozone layer being burned up; he cleverly inserts them into the storyline…so if you get why I’m using that comparison, that’s good.

It seriously starts with action, and ends with action, with not a slow moment in between, anywhere. We see all the characters doing normal (well, with Artemis involved, relatively speaking) activities, because they don’t know it’s their last adventure with us…um back to my train of thought…oh! Okay. The action starts pretty much when Opal (muahaha, one of my all-time favorite supervillians!!!) destroys the world and all this crazy awful stuff happens to the humans, as well as the Lower Elements, and here we are, back at the Stone Age.

Yeah, the rest you can just figure out by reading the book, but does that make you a little bit interested now?

I always hoped Holly and Artemis would like, be together, but that really isn’t the kind of relationship they have. I love it anyway, and now that Artemis is becoming an older teen (15 in Atlantis Complex?), he is even more awkward than usual. But he is still completely oblivious to girls. So scratch that hope. I mean, they literally have each other’s eye, so I guess that’s an odd piece of the puzzle too.

And Foaly. Ah he makes me laugh with all his awesome gadgety inventions, it’s great. It’s hard to explain why he is so cool, unless you’ve read about him.  Kind of the same situation as Mulch, as well.

This is a weird thing to notice, but a small part of The Last Guardian I didn’t like.

As strange as it sounds, I personally thought Artemis didn’t have enough lines! The story seemed so focused on everything going on, that I was like, wait, where is his smart-ass remark? It was there, but maybe a little less than usual. And I mean he was there, but his dialogue was lacking. Just a squick.

Also the ending. Yes, this book does end. The whole first page to last, (full of action remember) is pretty much just over 24 hours in “story-time”. So it totally speeds through, and I have to admit, that I did cry. And it is super rare that I actually cry in books. It’s not that I’m unemotional, I just avoid all the sad ones.

Like right nearing the last chapter, and the huge amazing climax where your hands are sweating and everything…you know what I mean—I was hating it. Hating it. I can’t say more without spoilers, sorry. But then the end of the last chapter came, and I couldn’t hate it anymore. Still crying, but it was so freaking perfect that I couldn’t hate it anymore! It was a little emotionally confusing for me. Just go with it.

The Last Guardian, or I should say, The Artemis Fowl series, ended wonderfully, and almost generated an “I knew that would have to happen but it’s hard all the same” feeling that will have me in a book slump from series-ending-withdraw for at least a week. Five minutes ago I handed it to my brother to start reading, and I can’t wait to hear what he thinks of it.

-Jane